Oh Baby!

See, I gotta stop saying what's up next with the blog. Because then I get myself into a hole where I don't want to post because I haven't written the post I think should come next, and then I don't write anything at all. It's the perfectionist in me coming out.

So. Someday I will write in full detail about the day that Julie came home, because seeing my little girl waiting to meet her baby sister is a moment I will always treasure.

The Crocs, not so much. But they were the only thing I could shove on my poor swollen feet.

The fact that the first thing Gwen did when we got inside was run to find a blanket to spread over Julie's car seat was pretty priceless, too. Of course, this shot of Gwen sharing her magazine is a classic. Someday, I'll download the video of that day off the Flip, and you can watch the whole thing, complete with my postpartum self blubbering in the background.

Gwen is officially great with her little sister. She loves having a baby around, and loves to introduce her to everyone. "This is my baby sister named Julie!" she pipes, at all hours, to her daddy, to the neighbors, to all of our visitors, and to her little friends. "My baby sister!" Named Julie!"

She asks for her like that, too, although that's fading away now. Mostly she says, "Mama, can I see Julie? Can I hold her?" This was Day 1:

This was week 3.

We're home, except when Jim is at work. Which is a lot, admittedly. Which is a damn good thing, except when it gets to be 6:00 or 7:00 or bedtime. Even then it's still a good thing, I just have to remind my hormone-soaked exhausted self why that is. We're home, and I have the family of four I always wanted. And when I'm not hormone-soaked and exhausted, I have these shining moments of pure happiness. Julie's soft and sweet and oh so tiny. Gwennie's big big big and dances around the house singing. I have two beautiful daughters.

I'm more relaxed with this baby, except when I'm not (the umbilical cord thing freaked me out a bit. Gwen's fell off in the NICU, so I wasn't all that involved with it. Julie's got all goopy before it finally fell off, and I was sure it was infected or something. It wasn't.) With Gwen, it's a different story, and relaxed is not the right word at all. Annoyed, maybe, on a good day, and it can go downhill from there. But that's a whole other blog post, right there, and I'm not promising to write it.

Signing off now, to get the big kid to sleep before the little one wakes up again...

Julia Robyn is here!

WARNING: Birth story coming up. You may just want to look at the pictures!

Well, it turns I grow my babies big, and deliver them early. Julia Robyn made her debut at 16:03. She's 7lbs, 11 oz, and 19 3/4 inches long. She has tons of black hair and dark eyes that I think are bluish. It's still hard to tell. I had her at 36 weeks 1 day. (Gwen was born at 35w,1d, weighed 7 lbs, 3 oz, and was 19 1/4 inches long.)

I think I may have sabotaged myself this time. I was so happy to get past the 35 week mark, and then I had an ultrasound on Monday and found out Julie (and I almost typed Gwen - I'm mixing them up already) was 7 lbs. And then Tuesday night I put something on Facebook about a possibly delivering a 10 lb. baby. I woke up Wednesday -my 36 week mark- in a great deal of pain. I knew I wasn't in labor, but my tummy was hard and hurt in all the wrong places. Jim took me to the hospital, and I ended up staying there for almost 12 hours. It turned out I had gastrointestinal issues- basically bad gas. Which I still find embarrassing, but I guess it happens. I was belching for hours in the afternoon, and Julie's heartrate was elevated for a while, and it was a long, frustrating day. Lots of pain, nothing to show for it. I got home around 8, still in pain, saw Gwen for a while, and went to bed.

And then. Gwen came in to read me a story, because Daphnii had told her I was feeling bad. So my girl was next to me, cuddled up, and... I had my first contraction. And I was seriously annoyed. I was still feeling bad with the gas I'd had, I'd been home for less than two hours, I wanted a January baby, I wanted to sleep and sleep now. So although I did the hypnobirthing breathing things to get through them, I was serious denial until I was having really intense contractions that were less than 5 minutes apart, and both that book and What to Expect said that I should get myself to the hospital PDQ. So I woke up Jim ("is it the gas again?" "no, it's labor, honey, hurry") and our neighbor Karin to watch Gwen, and off we went.

When we got here, the contractions were fast and furious. Jim called Mom at 2 in the morning to tell her I was in labor, but we weren't sure I wouldn't have the baby before she got there- 2nd babies can come fast. I wasn't dilated enough for an epidural yet, so they gave me a narcotic to take the edge of the contractions so I could try to sleep. And I did - hurray! But when I woke up, the nurse told me my labor had slowed waaay down, to the point where I wasn't considered in active labor anymore. I was still having contractions, but I wasn't progressing, and she felt there was a chance I might not have the baby. That was disheartening, to say the least. Mom was due to get on a plane, Jim had already lost 1/2 day of work.... so he went home to get a little sleep until we knew a little more.

At 7:30 or so, I woke up again. It turned out that a. I had progressed and was in active labor, and b. Dr. Muir, who had been my primary OB for Gwen, was on call and would be delivering. Huge yea! I love her and she had gotten me through the whole rotten pregnancy with Gwen, but Dr. Doherty ended up delivering her. At this point, she isn't doing much OB work, so Dr. Doherty was my primary. I love the symmetry of it. So I called Jim and started back in with my affirmations (my body was made for this, this is my body opening up for my baby) and my breathing, and things went great.

Mom, Scot and Kathleen and Jim all got there. I kept going with my breathing and stuff until 12:30 or so, but by then I was having trouble managing them. They checked me, and estimated I had 3-4 more hours, so I got the epidural and took a nap. It worked out great - by the time I woke up, I had sensation back, but no pain. My folks were eating and playing cards, Jim was doing work, the nurse laughed at me because I did a few (easy) sudoko puzzles. She said she'd never seen anyone do sudoko during labor before. But I'd had the epidural, so it wasn't like I was doing anything right then. I was just waiting for transition, and to push. (My girl's making little popping noises right now. I think there's a diaper change coming up!)

When they checked me, I was fully dilated, but I had a little lip of cervix left, so the doctor said to wait a few minutes. And then I told the nurse I was ready to push, and she checked me, and told me to wait. And I told I was ready to push, and she went to get the doctor. And I told them both I was ready to push, and they started getting the table ready... So I told Jim I was ready to push, and he started to pack the computer up. And I said no, now, get over here. But first go get my mom. He came back and said they were going to finish their hand. I yelled a bit then. (Well, actually, I yelled a bit earlier, mostly at Jim. But that's another story, and not one I'm going to tell here.) So the doctor told the nurse to go get Mom, and Mom threw down her cards and came in and finally the doctor told me I could push.

The way Mom tells it, the doctor said ok, Kim , push, and I did, and the doctor said, wow, look at all the hair, and Mom saw this oval of dark dark hair. The doctor said , keep pushing, and I took another breath and I did. I heard the doctor say something surprised and people saying, "oh!" and I felt something slip and slide out. Then the doctor said ok, Kim, now just blow. I remember thinking, already? and then out Julia came and she was already on my chest, all dark and wet and crying and so so beautiful. So absolutely amazingly beautiful, and she got to stay on me and I could hold her and pat her and look at all of her.

And here she is. Some of these may be a bit squicky for some of you, too. I'll have cuter ones the next time.

And a big shout out to my mom, because it's her birthday today. It's a biggie, and she's spending it here instead of with Phil. Of course, I did come through in the gift department...

My family. Next up - Gwennie meets her little sister!

On Any Sunday Night*

The Superhero Ballerina Princess is playing soccer when she hears a call for help! Someone needs rescuing!













"It's my cousin Batman! I have to save him!"

*As narrated by Gwen herself

Three!: The Birthday Party

My little party-planner-in-training came into her own this year. She was very excited about her party, from her theme (Princesses, naturally, and we picked her dress out weeks in advance.) She loves the dollar store, and picked out her plates and decorations and the all-important party hats. And her own tiara. We are big on tiaras in our house.

We needed chocolate cupcakes with pink frosting and sprinkles for our guests. I made the cupcakes, but Gwen was all about the sprinkles. Pink and purple sparkle sugar, and pink sugar balls that crunched in everyone's teeth. She even let Adessa help, which meant that the sprinkle distribution was ... a little uneven, shall we say? But the cupcakes were still pretty.

The kids had a great time playing around and wearing their hats. No, really, Ryan's having a blast.

And Elvi got to play with Baby Eliana. You know she was happy.

Then we sang the song (see the end of the last post) and ate the cupcakes and then, oh yeah, there were presents. Lots and lots of presents. (I should be writing thank-you notes right now, actually.)
And then the party was over, pretty much. Until this happened:

This is the new princess dress that the Brauns gave her for Christmas, complete with matching gown for our cross-dressing lion. He's a very good sport, you know.

And then this happened:

Those are the lacing beads from Adessa. Rutherford is helping.

And this:

Which pretty much summed up how Gwen felt about the whole day.

Where We Dance Around

JIM HAS A JOB!

The news went out on Facebook and email and teary telephone calls, but I need to write about it here, too. It's a fantastic job for him. He's working in wireless, dealing with radio frequency waves. (My husband is a geek who lurves himself some frequency waves. I've spent hours watching him spin things to show me the wave patterns. I really, really love him. Just saying.) He's out of computer security, he's making good money, and he gave them a really solid sales lead on his second day.

He's going to kick ass at this job.

And we're going to be ok, after all. I mean, I knew we would be. But I was getting very worried that it wouldn't be in this house, maybe not in this county. And I love it here.

This happened too:

And this too:

More on those later.

If you're reading this - well, thank you. It's been an incredibly difficult year, one in which we've relied on all of you more than you will ever know. It is your love and support that has pulled us through.

Thanksgiving

We spent Thanksgiving at my Uncle Rick's house. He has a beautiful property in the Gold Country, and the weather was fantastic. We sat out on the deck, looking at the pine trees,the autumn leaves, the horses in the pasture, fending off Aussie shepherds, laughing, talking politics (politely, even!) and watching Gwennie chase her Papa around. Uncle Rick said, "Well, gosh, she's just a regular kid, but she's awfully darn cute, isn't she?"

Then we ate fabulous food, and drove home. We had been planning to stay longer, but all three of us had been sick, and Jim felt like we should come home. Gwen cried about missing her Great Grandma (that'll wrench a mama's heart) but I was so grateful when we finally got home and I crawled into my own bed. It was great to show my daughter and my belly off (I was too sick to travel at all with Gwen, so this was new) but I am home for the duration now.

I didn't take a lot of pictures, but I think these two say a lot:

Where We Stand

So I haven't written much about our situation, because really, what do you say? Living in the Land of Economic Downturns is stressful and it sucks, and the best thing we've figured out to do is just soldier on. And so far, that's worked. We are raising a beautiful, happy, compassionate little girl, and growing a second one, and concentrating on the joy that they bring.

But the last few weeks have been hard. We've all been sick, particularly Jim and I, which makes always makes things more difficult. But Jim's been working towards a job that would be perfect for him, and that he'd be perfect for. It would even lets him use his physics background to a greater extent than he ever has before. The hiring process started in early October and was going great guns, everybody loved him, he was champing at the bit, and then things. just. ground. to. a. halt. while the VP reconsidered the position and his organization.

From the VP's perspective, I'm sure it looks as if he's doing the right thing, being responsible to his company, all that. From ours, it's as if he threw a giant brick wall in the middle of our freeway lane, and we keep crashing right into it. It's hard to see around it, hard to know where we go from here. Because it's the holidays again, and we've no other prospects, nothing new is going to break open before the New Year, and there's a baby waiting to be born.

But here's the ray of sunshine. The recruiter called Jim yesterday, and the VP wants to meet with Jim on Monday, to discuss salary histories among other things. So maybe, just maybe, things are going to start moving again. And I'm asking anyone who can to throw some energy behind that idea, because we need need need this job.

In the meantime, Gwen has rediscovered her gorilla puppet, who has morphed into Baby G'illa, and she brings him to her daddy several times a day, asking him to put his hand inside her baby "so he can play with his mama." He was more than a little disturbed when that play involved nursing her ape-baby. This morning was a little easier, because she just wanted Baby G'illa to brush his mama's hair.

There will be a Thanksgiving post soon, but here are a couple of shots to tide you over.

Gwennie and Adessa (her Dora-friend. Dunno what that is, exactly, but Adessa is it) at the pumpkin patch.

Up Up and Away!