Oh Julie, Julie, Julie

I am so right there with you, baby mine.

Happy Month Day, Little Person.

Oh Baby!

See, I gotta stop saying what's up next with the blog. Because then I get myself into a hole where I don't want to post because I haven't written the post I think should come next, and then I don't write anything at all. It's the perfectionist in me coming out.

So. Someday I will write in full detail about the day that Julie came home, because seeing my little girl waiting to meet her baby sister is a moment I will always treasure.

The Crocs, not so much. But they were the only thing I could shove on my poor swollen feet.

The fact that the first thing Gwen did when we got inside was run to find a blanket to spread over Julie's car seat was pretty priceless, too. Of course, this shot of Gwen sharing her magazine is a classic. Someday, I'll download the video of that day off the Flip, and you can watch the whole thing, complete with my postpartum self blubbering in the background.

Gwen is officially great with her little sister. She loves having a baby around, and loves to introduce her to everyone. "This is my baby sister named Julie!" she pipes, at all hours, to her daddy, to the neighbors, to all of our visitors, and to her little friends. "My baby sister!" Named Julie!"

She asks for her like that, too, although that's fading away now. Mostly she says, "Mama, can I see Julie? Can I hold her?" This was Day 1:

This was week 3.

We're home, except when Jim is at work. Which is a lot, admittedly. Which is a damn good thing, except when it gets to be 6:00 or 7:00 or bedtime. Even then it's still a good thing, I just have to remind my hormone-soaked exhausted self why that is. We're home, and I have the family of four I always wanted. And when I'm not hormone-soaked and exhausted, I have these shining moments of pure happiness. Julie's soft and sweet and oh so tiny. Gwennie's big big big and dances around the house singing. I have two beautiful daughters.

I'm more relaxed with this baby, except when I'm not (the umbilical cord thing freaked me out a bit. Gwen's fell off in the NICU, so I wasn't all that involved with it. Julie's got all goopy before it finally fell off, and I was sure it was infected or something. It wasn't.) With Gwen, it's a different story, and relaxed is not the right word at all. Annoyed, maybe, on a good day, and it can go downhill from there. But that's a whole other blog post, right there, and I'm not promising to write it.

Signing off now, to get the big kid to sleep before the little one wakes up again...

Julia Robyn is here!

WARNING: Birth story coming up. You may just want to look at the pictures!

Well, it turns I grow my babies big, and deliver them early. Julia Robyn made her debut at 16:03. She's 7lbs, 11 oz, and 19 3/4 inches long. She has tons of black hair and dark eyes that I think are bluish. It's still hard to tell. I had her at 36 weeks 1 day. (Gwen was born at 35w,1d, weighed 7 lbs, 3 oz, and was 19 1/4 inches long.)

I think I may have sabotaged myself this time. I was so happy to get past the 35 week mark, and then I had an ultrasound on Monday and found out Julie (and I almost typed Gwen - I'm mixing them up already) was 7 lbs. And then Tuesday night I put something on Facebook about a possibly delivering a 10 lb. baby. I woke up Wednesday -my 36 week mark- in a great deal of pain. I knew I wasn't in labor, but my tummy was hard and hurt in all the wrong places. Jim took me to the hospital, and I ended up staying there for almost 12 hours. It turned out I had gastrointestinal issues- basically bad gas. Which I still find embarrassing, but I guess it happens. I was belching for hours in the afternoon, and Julie's heartrate was elevated for a while, and it was a long, frustrating day. Lots of pain, nothing to show for it. I got home around 8, still in pain, saw Gwen for a while, and went to bed.

And then. Gwen came in to read me a story, because Daphnii had told her I was feeling bad. So my girl was next to me, cuddled up, and... I had my first contraction. And I was seriously annoyed. I was still feeling bad with the gas I'd had, I'd been home for less than two hours, I wanted a January baby, I wanted to sleep and sleep now. So although I did the hypnobirthing breathing things to get through them, I was serious denial until I was having really intense contractions that were less than 5 minutes apart, and both that book and What to Expect said that I should get myself to the hospital PDQ. So I woke up Jim ("is it the gas again?" "no, it's labor, honey, hurry") and our neighbor Karin to watch Gwen, and off we went.

When we got here, the contractions were fast and furious. Jim called Mom at 2 in the morning to tell her I was in labor, but we weren't sure I wouldn't have the baby before she got there- 2nd babies can come fast. I wasn't dilated enough for an epidural yet, so they gave me a narcotic to take the edge of the contractions so I could try to sleep. And I did - hurray! But when I woke up, the nurse told me my labor had slowed waaay down, to the point where I wasn't considered in active labor anymore. I was still having contractions, but I wasn't progressing, and she felt there was a chance I might not have the baby. That was disheartening, to say the least. Mom was due to get on a plane, Jim had already lost 1/2 day of work.... so he went home to get a little sleep until we knew a little more.

At 7:30 or so, I woke up again. It turned out that a. I had progressed and was in active labor, and b. Dr. Muir, who had been my primary OB for Gwen, was on call and would be delivering. Huge yea! I love her and she had gotten me through the whole rotten pregnancy with Gwen, but Dr. Doherty ended up delivering her. At this point, she isn't doing much OB work, so Dr. Doherty was my primary. I love the symmetry of it. So I called Jim and started back in with my affirmations (my body was made for this, this is my body opening up for my baby) and my breathing, and things went great.

Mom, Scot and Kathleen and Jim all got there. I kept going with my breathing and stuff until 12:30 or so, but by then I was having trouble managing them. They checked me, and estimated I had 3-4 more hours, so I got the epidural and took a nap. It worked out great - by the time I woke up, I had sensation back, but no pain. My folks were eating and playing cards, Jim was doing work, the nurse laughed at me because I did a few (easy) sudoko puzzles. She said she'd never seen anyone do sudoko during labor before. But I'd had the epidural, so it wasn't like I was doing anything right then. I was just waiting for transition, and to push. (My girl's making little popping noises right now. I think there's a diaper change coming up!)

When they checked me, I was fully dilated, but I had a little lip of cervix left, so the doctor said to wait a few minutes. And then I told the nurse I was ready to push, and she checked me, and told me to wait. And I told I was ready to push, and she went to get the doctor. And I told them both I was ready to push, and they started getting the table ready... So I told Jim I was ready to push, and he started to pack the computer up. And I said no, now, get over here. But first go get my mom. He came back and said they were going to finish their hand. I yelled a bit then. (Well, actually, I yelled a bit earlier, mostly at Jim. But that's another story, and not one I'm going to tell here.) So the doctor told the nurse to go get Mom, and Mom threw down her cards and came in and finally the doctor told me I could push.

The way Mom tells it, the doctor said ok, Kim , push, and I did, and the doctor said, wow, look at all the hair, and Mom saw this oval of dark dark hair. The doctor said , keep pushing, and I took another breath and I did. I heard the doctor say something surprised and people saying, "oh!" and I felt something slip and slide out. Then the doctor said ok, Kim, now just blow. I remember thinking, already? and then out Julia came and she was already on my chest, all dark and wet and crying and so so beautiful. So absolutely amazingly beautiful, and she got to stay on me and I could hold her and pat her and look at all of her.

And here she is. Some of these may be a bit squicky for some of you, too. I'll have cuter ones the next time.

And a big shout out to my mom, because it's her birthday today. It's a biggie, and she's spending it here instead of with Phil. Of course, I did come through in the gift department...

My family. Next up - Gwennie meets her little sister!