Life at the Batcave

So... I didn't blog for a while. Normally I'd be all about playing catch up. but there's a ton of stuff on FB, so I'm going to leave it at that.

Rutherford's gone, though. He went missing at the beginning of the summer. I think I miss him more than Gwen does. She's been asking for a new lion, and I may have to cave in and get one.

So. Summer here has been cool. Almost cold. We'vemanaged to keep busy, even though we really haven't gone anywhere. Mondays I've been going to water aerobics with Julie while Gwen hangs with Karin, Tuesdays have been the library until this month. I think we're hitting thebeach tomorrow. Wednesdays, we do our walk in Henry Cowell, Thursdays Gwen has swim lessons in Ben Lomond with Ryan and James, and Fridays are a bit free form. We haven't beent o the creek nearly as much, but we've gone a few times. We'll probably go more now that's it's getting hot.

Gwen is gorgeous and a real handful. Having a hell of a time getting her to bed right now. She's pulling out all the stops, whcih means once more we are letting her cry it out. She's bright and she's funny and stubborn as all get out. However, she is potty trained, hallelujah huzzah! She seems to be coming out of the mermaid/Ariel stage (although she did a serious Uturn tonight) in favor of all superheros, all the time. This weekend, she was Batwoman, Jim was Batman, I was Batgirl, and Julie was Batbaby. Jim was married to both of us, mostly because Gwen did not want any responsibility for Batbaby.

She's been a big fan of Batman for a long time, but she had told Mom that she wanted a WonderWoman costum for Halloween. Then on Thursday, after a truly awful day that I have to admit had more to do with my poor behavior than hers, we ended up at the consignment shop, where she promptly peed all over their carpetted play area. Yikes. So I had to buy something, and what I bought was this. The downside - she won't take it off. The upside? Well, I think Mom is off the hook (although we may need a Robin oufit for Julia, because how cute would that be?) And she lets us call her Gwen in public, you know, to protect her secret identity.

She misses school a lot, and so do I. I'm on the Board now, and I'm really looking forward to the new year. Gwen will have a completely new class, and I think she's going to do great. It'll be interesting seeing how Julie does on my work days. I think she's going to be getting into everything she can. Thank goodness for the Ergo. When she's on my back, I can't see what she's getting up to, for one.

Julie is a completely different kitty than her sister. She's quiet and thoughtful, but she has her on ways of letting you know what she wants. We tend to think of Gwen as the drama queen, mostly because she always has been. We called her the Lady Gwendolyn from a very early age. Julie's not dramatic at all. But that doesn't mean she doesn't have her her own ideas. She just tends to be a little more agreeable about getting her way. She's got this toothless grin combined with the bunners wiggle that will charm the bejeebers out of you. She's babbling now, often at the top of her lungs. Her favorite at the moment is MAMAMAMAMAAMAMAMMAA. A couple of times she's stopped at Mama, though, so I'm calling it. She also made a vague gesture today that I'm choosing to interpret asthe milk sign. Because I can.

The two of us were sick this weekend, which totally sucked because we had plans. Parties, people. Plural on the parties, including James' 3rd birthday. James currently has a major crush on Gwen, and I really wanted to watch Jim watching James. Plus, all my peoples was there, with all of the kids, and Jules and I were stuck at home. But Jules kept sneezing great big baby germs everywhere, and I was basically warmed over Death on Legs, so no parties for us. Which meant we were alone for Julie's big moment.

She sat. All by herself! She is a sitting up baby!

(That's Chompers, by the way. The rest of the world call the giraffe Sophie,but we call her Chompers, because that's what Julie does. Chomp her.)

I'm not sure why I'm so excited about this. It isn't as if she's been staying where I put her for weeks now. She rolls all over the place. She's nearly crawling, and will be any day now. She and Gwen are opposites that way. Gwen sat much earlier, and then stayed there. She liked sitting. She'd play with whatever toys she could reach, and if she couldn't reach it, well, then, maybe she didn't need it. Julie would let herslef fall onto to her tummy so that she could navigate her way someplace else. But now she can sit. She is officially no longer a blobby baby. And her mama is officially happy about it.

The other big news about Julie is her food. She's been on solids for almost 2 months now, and I was following the same pattern I did with Gwen. I've also been pureeing food like crazy: peaches, nectarines, plums, mangos, sweetpotatos, aspatagus, peas, and pumpkin are all stashed in my freezer. I introduced foods carefully, 4 days apart, just like the chart said to. I gave her a spoon to play with. And my happy little passive baby was having none of that, thank you!

First she squawked at Jim while I was out. I didn't think too much of it though - it could be hard for me to tell when she was done, too. But then it happened again. And then it happened with me, 3 meals in a row, and then the light clicked on.

This baby would like to feed herself, thankyouverymuch, and she'll have what the rest of us are having ifyoudon'tmind.

I'd run across the term babyled weaning in various blogs, but I hadn't really paid much attention to it. Because Gwen did just fine, you know? I didn't need to learn anything different. Besides, wouldn't she choke? Now I've been googling BLW like crazy (although it isn't weaning in the sense that I'llstop nursing her. It's more baby led feeding.)I offered her some finger food, and the kid went nuts. Ever since then, she's been happy as a clam - unless I try to spoonfeed her. So this morning I made extra oatmeal with raisins,vanilla and cinnamon. I tend to make it thick anyway, and I spread it out on a plate to cool it off some more. Then I broke it into pieces and gave them to Julie, along with cut up peaches, bananas, and blackberries and raspberries. Lunch was steamed carrots, plum, and a cheddar cheese stick. Dinner was a teething biscuit and, a Costco pizza crust, plus a little of Gwen'shot dog bun. I'd been cutting up her food into very small pieces, but everything I'm reading says to give them stuff they can hold onto, so I branched out a little more. It's really all about putting her incontrol of what she eats,and she is loving it.

I will admit that I'm a little nervous. My other book, which the rest of my posse used, is adamant about waiting until certain months to introduce certain foods. This stuff says to just throw it all in there until there's a problem. Really? I am nervous. I'm also doing it, because look at that face. She'll sit there for an hour, working on getting food into her mouth. She gags a little, which is normal. Especially with the cheese, since she was intent on getting as much as she could into her mouth at one time. But she's learning. Gwennie never ever choked. Julie hasn't either, even if she gags here and there.

Julie likes blackberries. Can you tell? Here's another difference - Gwen got fed in her Bumbo for a long time, because she was dinky and it was easier. Julie is dinky, too, but Julie mad the Bumbo move because she ws busy twisting around and dumping stuff over. High chair for you, missy! SHe doesn't seem to mind.

So that's us. For the moment, anyway. Beach tomorrow, hiking with our pals on Saturday, Jim's company picnic, and then it's Labor Day.So the weather will finally get hot.

My Grandma

My grandmother, Betty Evans, is a wonderful, talented woman, and I love her very very much.

Look how beautiful she is. She turned 90 last month.

She's always been amazing. One of my earliest memories is walking with her on the beach, and I have countless others of walks we took in our woods on our mountain. I rember her telling me the names of the flowers, and how to tell what poison oak looked like. I remember skinnydipping in swimming holes, and using the old outhouse, and sleeping outside on a mattress under the stars. I remember listening to the range cows in the morning, and eating millet and carob and so many peaches my stomach hurt. I remember driving up to Oregon to see Shakespeare with her and Papa after I graduated from high school, and driving her and Papa through the lashing rain on the Great Ocean Highway in Australia, on the wrong side of the road with a cliff just feet away.

She's got her foibles - she couldn't find a decent cup of coffee in the whole country of Australia- but don't those make us all more interesting, anyway?

She has an extensive collection of old books, some really old, some just the old cloth-covered kind you remember from your school library when you were a kid. She's the one who understands why I always liked Little Men much more than Little Women, and why my favorite Louisa May Alcott book is Eight Cousins. She's the one who owns Eight Cousins so that I could read it. When I told her I really like Albert Terhune (old-time pre-Lassie collie stories) she found me a copy of one of them. She reads poetry and fiction and histories and just about everything you can think of. She ate health food and grew organic vegetables and composted and practiced yoga way before any of that was cool. Now she mostly does Tai Chi. She's good at it, too.

My grandma. Old-school California girl, from way way back. I love her. My daughters love her. And every time I get sad that my girls never got to meet my papa, I thank the stars that they are getting to know my grandma. Because she is incredible.

Gwennieism of the Day

Standing in front of me, facing outwards, while I'm putting on her tights:

Mama, I can't do this while you're breathing down my neck.

No, I don't know where she picked that one up.

Julie, Julie, Julie

You woke up all bright and shiny today - even the people at nursery school remarked on it. You flirted with people at the store. You grinned at Gwennie and sang little baby songs all day long.

Right now, you're charming your daddy, who is your biggest fan. You are head over heels about him, too.

There are more pictures of you, but the camera is out in the car, and it's raining. I'll post them tomorrow. Right now, it's late, and both my girls are awake, and I need to fix that.

Happy 3rd Month Day, little person of mine. We love you.

Julia Laughing

Just chillin'....

when something caught my fancy...

....huh. Guess you had to be there.

March Goes Flying By...

Technically, this was in February, but there you go. We went to see Disney on Ice in my brother's schmancy box seats at the Shark Tank. Adessa and Keidi came with us, and we all hung out watching Mickey and the gang.

The girls definitely looked liked princesses, and were very excited. Adessa said that Minnie would be very happy to see her. Gwennie kept jumping up and down, saying, "Look, Mommy! It's Ariel! It's Ariel!"

Quick side note: Gwen still vastly prefers the name Ariel to her own, and Jim has now morphed from "Handsome Prince" to "Eric" (or really: Hansum Piiince to Aaay-ic.)

Julie mostly watched the Moby Wrap or the inside of her eyelids. She wasn't impressed by the seats at all. But the girls thought it was great. They could see everything, and there was room to run around during the intermission. Added bonus: I scared the concierge with my awesome breastfeeding skillz after the show. First time I've done that with this kid.

We had a great time. Gwen decided Tinker Bell was even cooler than Ariel, but since she really hasn't seen Tink since then, Ariels returned to princess supremacy. I have been hearing good things about the Tinker Bell videos, though, so those may be in our future. (Although, y'know, in Peter Pan, Tink? Is not so nice. Kinda weird to have this whole re-do of her. )

Then we sat around and watched the baby in her funny clothes for a while. She's grown out of her little peapod bunting now.

My girls are still great friends. Gwen started story time with her baby sister.

She also "braved" her little sister when Julie got her shots. I'd like to point out that when Gwen got her first shots, I had Jim there for support, and I still cried. This time I had Gwen and Julie to deal with, and I couldn't cry because I've been trying to convince Gwen that shots aren't that big a deal. She announces every time we see the doctor: "I don't have to get shots today!" Her last few appointments have been for ear infections, so he was able to comply. We were at the doctor's a lot last month. Julie had blocked tear ducts, Gwen had a double ear infection (and allergies, it turns out. Dang.) and then Gwen had a weird unexplained fever that I had checked out because of the ear infections. Plus, Jules is still seeing the OT for nursing issues. We're doing much better in that department, but there's still room for improvement. I've been to the eye doctor (my eyes have matured, it seems. I need pregressive lenses now, yippee for me) and I also had some poison oak on my face and ahem, close to the milk supply checked out. And no, I don't know how I caught it there. But it sucks, I can tell you that.

I just like this shot of Gwen.

Then, something big happened. Something very exciting in the Land of Gwen. A big, big deal.

She started ballet.

It's just a small class, taught by Keidi's 14 yo neighbor. There are only 4 of them in the class - Adessa, Gwen, another 2 1/2 yo from Mt. Hermon, and Keidi's foster-niece. They dance in the downstairs foyer, and we sit on the steps and watch. But oh, these are happy little girls!

Gwen's a little disturbed by the fact that her ballet slippers are white rather than pink, but other than that, ballet class is the best thing all week. She'd go every day if she could. I think I'm going to be watching a lot of these classes throughout the years....

I am so lucky.

Happy 2nd Month Day

You are growing so fast. Friday you gave your daddy such a big smile, he got tears in his eyes. (He'll tell he didn't, but I saw them. Of course, you're still waking him up a lot at night.) Today you laughed for the first time, and smiled big at me. You've figured out the nursing thing, and you're doing great.

Gwennie croons, "Oh baaby giiill!" at you all day long, gives you your pacifier, and puts blankets on you in the swing. She even shares Rutherford with you. You look up at her with love in your bright little eyes. And me? My heart just fills up and overflows.

Bonus Shot

Shades of things to come....

The Daily Conversation

G: Mom, can I see Julie?

M: Ok, come look at her.

J: Hi, Gwennie.

G: I want to hold her!

M: Ok, go sit down. Be careful with her.

J: Uh oh.

G: Look, Mom, I'm holding Julie!

M: (fiddles with camera)

J: Um, Mom?

G: Oh, Mom, Julie is soooo cute!

J: Mooom!

G: Mom, I love my little sister!

J: Phew. I love you, too.

Nursery School!

Gwennie and Julie on Gwen's first day of preschool, Feb. 8.

By a stroke of sheer luck, and email connections, we found a school for Gwennie. It's a true parent-ed co-op, the kind my grandmother used to run oh-so-many-years ago when I was a preschooler. In fact, I've heard Teacher Maggie and Teacher Dara say the exact same things to parents that my almost 90 year old grandma says to me about my darling daughter. (Don't talk about her right in front of her, she is still listening, etc.) I heard about the school on a Wednesday, visited it on Friday, and started her on Monday. Then I went to storytime on Thursday at the library, and talked to a bunch of women who had been on the waiting list for the school at one point or another. I guess it can be hard to get into, because it's very small.

Gwen goes 3 times a week for 2 1/2 hours, in the afternoon, which is helpful for us non-morning person types. I stay and work one of those days. It's completely experiential, play-oriented environment, with no formal academics at all. Which is exactly what Jim and I were hoping to find. Gwen will have plenty of time for all that when she's ready. Right now, I want her playing with magnets and smooshing playdough ingredients together, and dealing with other kids. And listening and learning from other adults, and being away from me. (What? It's an important lesson.)

Her first-day outfit is very professional, don't you think? She's still big into the princess dresses.

And the goofy. Still plenty into the goofy.

There's about 12 kids in her class, with a good mix of boys and girls. She's one of the youngest, which is a switch for her. It's been interesting to watch her try to integrate into the girls' groups. She's going to do just fine, although she did come up to me on Wednesday in the playyard to tell me she wished Adessa was there. She missed the Valentine's party because of an ear infection, but she was thrilled to get her Valentines on Wednesday. And she's already been invited to a birthday party for this Sunday.

I've been caught up in the moment - the scheduling can be a little difficult, timing Julie's feedings and making sure Gwen's had lunch before school starts (we shoot to get out the door at 12, so she has to eat much earlier than we normally would.) She's taken to sleeping later - it's 8:30, and she's not up yet - so I'm kind of doing a brunch snack thing. Plus, life with a baby, even if she's not a newborn anymore, is kind of a whole series of logistics anyway. So it hadn't quite hit me until I was typing all of that, that I've begun to launch Gwen into the world. That she's about to face social challenges - and successes - that I won't be there to manage. Which is a good and necessary thing, but oh wow. My kid has a class list, and gets invited to birthday parties for kids whose parents I don't know. I've been calling her "Little Person" since she was born - now she's really turning into one. She's going to make friends that I haven't picked out for her! Based on the kid, not whether or not I like the parents! Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

But wait - I get to run errands with only one kid - one snoozy little kid who can't get out of her carrier - this afternoon. I think it will be ok.

Julie and her Family

This is the only family shot we've had since Mom took the coming home shots. Julie's only 10 days old. Maybe we should take another one.

I love this one of me and my girls. Julie's 22 days old. Look at her little smile.

Daddy, multitasking. This was Daddy's birthday, but we were heading to Danny's birthday party. Look! Julie's out of her pj's! This was her FMG debut. She slept through it.

There was a visit from Auntie Kathleen and Uncle Scot. Julie's 24 days.

This is not Julie. This is another shot of Gwen on Scot's shoulders. Is good, no? My brother is a weirdo, but Gwen thinks he's cool.

There was not one but two visits from Grandma Jill in January, and I didn't get any pictures of her with Julie. There's only one of her with Gwen, and you can't see either of their faces. Fail.

And then there the pictures of my girls. The sisters.

Julie says, "What's that on your face, Gwennie?" Gwennie says, "Probably peanut butter." Julie's 3 weeks old.

First day of preschool! (More on that soon. Oops, broke my new rule.) 5 weeks old.

And that last one is today - Julie's two days short of 7 weeks. Both girls have clean faces! WIN! Plus, you know, they're beautiful. New wallpaper.

And I tried to get all fancy with the layout, but I either need to actually learn how to do this stuff, or give up. Haven't made a decision yet.

Oh Julie, Julie, Julie

I am so right there with you, baby mine.

Happy Month Day, Little Person.

Oh Baby!

See, I gotta stop saying what's up next with the blog. Because then I get myself into a hole where I don't want to post because I haven't written the post I think should come next, and then I don't write anything at all. It's the perfectionist in me coming out.

So. Someday I will write in full detail about the day that Julie came home, because seeing my little girl waiting to meet her baby sister is a moment I will always treasure.

The Crocs, not so much. But they were the only thing I could shove on my poor swollen feet.

The fact that the first thing Gwen did when we got inside was run to find a blanket to spread over Julie's car seat was pretty priceless, too. Of course, this shot of Gwen sharing her magazine is a classic. Someday, I'll download the video of that day off the Flip, and you can watch the whole thing, complete with my postpartum self blubbering in the background.

Gwen is officially great with her little sister. She loves having a baby around, and loves to introduce her to everyone. "This is my baby sister named Julie!" she pipes, at all hours, to her daddy, to the neighbors, to all of our visitors, and to her little friends. "My baby sister!" Named Julie!"

She asks for her like that, too, although that's fading away now. Mostly she says, "Mama, can I see Julie? Can I hold her?" This was Day 1:

This was week 3.

We're home, except when Jim is at work. Which is a lot, admittedly. Which is a damn good thing, except when it gets to be 6:00 or 7:00 or bedtime. Even then it's still a good thing, I just have to remind my hormone-soaked exhausted self why that is. We're home, and I have the family of four I always wanted. And when I'm not hormone-soaked and exhausted, I have these shining moments of pure happiness. Julie's soft and sweet and oh so tiny. Gwennie's big big big and dances around the house singing. I have two beautiful daughters.

I'm more relaxed with this baby, except when I'm not (the umbilical cord thing freaked me out a bit. Gwen's fell off in the NICU, so I wasn't all that involved with it. Julie's got all goopy before it finally fell off, and I was sure it was infected or something. It wasn't.) With Gwen, it's a different story, and relaxed is not the right word at all. Annoyed, maybe, on a good day, and it can go downhill from there. But that's a whole other blog post, right there, and I'm not promising to write it.

Signing off now, to get the big kid to sleep before the little one wakes up again...

Julia Robyn is here!

WARNING: Birth story coming up. You may just want to look at the pictures!

Well, it turns I grow my babies big, and deliver them early. Julia Robyn made her debut at 16:03. She's 7lbs, 11 oz, and 19 3/4 inches long. She has tons of black hair and dark eyes that I think are bluish. It's still hard to tell. I had her at 36 weeks 1 day. (Gwen was born at 35w,1d, weighed 7 lbs, 3 oz, and was 19 1/4 inches long.)

I think I may have sabotaged myself this time. I was so happy to get past the 35 week mark, and then I had an ultrasound on Monday and found out Julie (and I almost typed Gwen - I'm mixing them up already) was 7 lbs. And then Tuesday night I put something on Facebook about a possibly delivering a 10 lb. baby. I woke up Wednesday -my 36 week mark- in a great deal of pain. I knew I wasn't in labor, but my tummy was hard and hurt in all the wrong places. Jim took me to the hospital, and I ended up staying there for almost 12 hours. It turned out I had gastrointestinal issues- basically bad gas. Which I still find embarrassing, but I guess it happens. I was belching for hours in the afternoon, and Julie's heartrate was elevated for a while, and it was a long, frustrating day. Lots of pain, nothing to show for it. I got home around 8, still in pain, saw Gwen for a while, and went to bed.

And then. Gwen came in to read me a story, because Daphnii had told her I was feeling bad. So my girl was next to me, cuddled up, and... I had my first contraction. And I was seriously annoyed. I was still feeling bad with the gas I'd had, I'd been home for less than two hours, I wanted a January baby, I wanted to sleep and sleep now. So although I did the hypnobirthing breathing things to get through them, I was serious denial until I was having really intense contractions that were less than 5 minutes apart, and both that book and What to Expect said that I should get myself to the hospital PDQ. So I woke up Jim ("is it the gas again?" "no, it's labor, honey, hurry") and our neighbor Karin to watch Gwen, and off we went.

When we got here, the contractions were fast and furious. Jim called Mom at 2 in the morning to tell her I was in labor, but we weren't sure I wouldn't have the baby before she got there- 2nd babies can come fast. I wasn't dilated enough for an epidural yet, so they gave me a narcotic to take the edge of the contractions so I could try to sleep. And I did - hurray! But when I woke up, the nurse told me my labor had slowed waaay down, to the point where I wasn't considered in active labor anymore. I was still having contractions, but I wasn't progressing, and she felt there was a chance I might not have the baby. That was disheartening, to say the least. Mom was due to get on a plane, Jim had already lost 1/2 day of work.... so he went home to get a little sleep until we knew a little more.

At 7:30 or so, I woke up again. It turned out that a. I had progressed and was in active labor, and b. Dr. Muir, who had been my primary OB for Gwen, was on call and would be delivering. Huge yea! I love her and she had gotten me through the whole rotten pregnancy with Gwen, but Dr. Doherty ended up delivering her. At this point, she isn't doing much OB work, so Dr. Doherty was my primary. I love the symmetry of it. So I called Jim and started back in with my affirmations (my body was made for this, this is my body opening up for my baby) and my breathing, and things went great.

Mom, Scot and Kathleen and Jim all got there. I kept going with my breathing and stuff until 12:30 or so, but by then I was having trouble managing them. They checked me, and estimated I had 3-4 more hours, so I got the epidural and took a nap. It worked out great - by the time I woke up, I had sensation back, but no pain. My folks were eating and playing cards, Jim was doing work, the nurse laughed at me because I did a few (easy) sudoko puzzles. She said she'd never seen anyone do sudoko during labor before. But I'd had the epidural, so it wasn't like I was doing anything right then. I was just waiting for transition, and to push. (My girl's making little popping noises right now. I think there's a diaper change coming up!)

When they checked me, I was fully dilated, but I had a little lip of cervix left, so the doctor said to wait a few minutes. And then I told the nurse I was ready to push, and she checked me, and told me to wait. And I told I was ready to push, and she went to get the doctor. And I told them both I was ready to push, and they started getting the table ready... So I told Jim I was ready to push, and he started to pack the computer up. And I said no, now, get over here. But first go get my mom. He came back and said they were going to finish their hand. I yelled a bit then. (Well, actually, I yelled a bit earlier, mostly at Jim. But that's another story, and not one I'm going to tell here.) So the doctor told the nurse to go get Mom, and Mom threw down her cards and came in and finally the doctor told me I could push.

The way Mom tells it, the doctor said ok, Kim , push, and I did, and the doctor said, wow, look at all the hair, and Mom saw this oval of dark dark hair. The doctor said , keep pushing, and I took another breath and I did. I heard the doctor say something surprised and people saying, "oh!" and I felt something slip and slide out. Then the doctor said ok, Kim, now just blow. I remember thinking, already? and then out Julia came and she was already on my chest, all dark and wet and crying and so so beautiful. So absolutely amazingly beautiful, and she got to stay on me and I could hold her and pat her and look at all of her.

And here she is. Some of these may be a bit squicky for some of you, too. I'll have cuter ones the next time.

And a big shout out to my mom, because it's her birthday today. It's a biggie, and she's spending it here instead of with Phil. Of course, I did come through in the gift department...

My family. Next up - Gwennie meets her little sister!